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Angel, You Were Born To Fly

When you're soarin' through the air, I'll be your solid ground

Take every chance you dare. I'll still be there,

When you come back down.

Nickel Creek - When You Come Back Down

The day you came to Earth was unseasonably warm. It felt that way, at least. I remember it being surreal, the way the sweat clung to this oversized green sweater I was wearing. The sun was glowing deep in the sky and the cows on our neighbor's farm were mooing low and loud. There were thousands of sunflowers in the field. I stood there feeling like Jacob, feeling like I was wrestling with God, the day you were born.

Your classmates don't believe you when you tell them you were born on a farm. But it's true. You were born in a stone cottage the size of a shoebox, in the living room, in a pool. There were little white Christmas lights hanging from the rafters. I made a playlist of peaceful Orthodox hymns but when you were born, it was to the soundtrack of my ragged, desperate cries - "Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me." And when you were finally here, it was quiet. No nurses checking vitals, no machines beeping. Just you. Just your perfect, beautiful self - the most miraculous, most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life.

Today, you are ten years old. An entire decade with you, it's hard to believe. I'm so proud of who you are and who you're becoming. You're a person who feels deeply. Whose smile is pure light and joy, just one of those smiles that makes you feel warm and thankful to be near you. You cheer others on with selfless generosity. You are always thinking of how you can make life better for those around you. You're a leader, I see that naturally in you and I'm so proud of how you use that inclination to try to bring out the best in those around you. Keep using your powers for good, because the world needs more good and there's so much that you have to left to offer.

There is no greater privilege I've ever been afforded than to watch you grow and play some part in the person you're becoming. I can't take all the credit, but I'm very proud. I heard someone say this once, and I feel it applies - "Of course I love [my child], but I like them, too. I genuinely enjoy our relationship." There aren't words to describe how very much I love you and how thankful I am for these last ten years. Thank you for making me a mom. Thank you for the love I didn't know I was missing until you arrived.

Happy birthday, Little Man. You are now officially Medium Man. Check on your mother, she's not ok and wants you to stop growing now.

I love you.

A lot.

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