When you blow out the candles,
One light stays aglow
It's the love light in your eyes,
Where e'er you go.
- Tom Chapin, Happy Birthday
Today, my Baby Squid is five years old. My comedic genius, my tough guy, my King T'Challa (he insists that this is his real name). For some reason, five is hard. It's like closing the Baby Chapter and opening the By, Mom, I'm Off to College one. Yes, I know this is absurd, and yes, I know I feel like this every year. But holding him all cuddled up in my arms, last night, I couldn't help but think that one day will be the last day I get to snuggle him close, like that. And I'm going to miss it so much when it's gone.
Lucky for me, for now, Liam is still my cuddle monster. He still brings me books and tucks himself under my arm and asks me to read to him while he snuggles close. So if we're rounding out Chapter One, at least it's mercifully slow.
I've started going through old photos and editing ones I took years ago. Two from the first time Constantine held him, and one from my bedside in the hospital. I don't know why I didn't put his hat on properly before I took this photo. Probably some combination of total exhaustion, not wanting to wake him and feeling like he's pretty much perfect exactly the way he is. Which is true.